THERE is a saying that ‘you can measure a man by the size of the things it takes to upset him.’ Indeed, the person who refuses to become upset by minor annoyances or offenses is a person of true stature. Such a person shows, not a petty attitude, but a largeness of mind and spirit. But one easily upset over trifles is guilty of smallness. And often that smallness further betrays itself by acts of spite.

What is spite? One dictionary defines spite as: “A malicious, usually petty, desire to harm, annoy, frustrate, or humiliate another person; Malicious ill will prompting an urge to hurt or humiliate.” As this definition reveals, the true motive behind spite is not justice, but rather “ill will” usually generated by hatred, envy, resentment or simply a mean disposition. What role does spite play in the directed energy weapons torture and gang-stalking used against me? They are being secretly tested on innocent Americans to develop a standardized program of psychological torture for covert agencies. Their intent is to harm, annoy, frustrate, and humiliate, out of malice. In essence, they are weapons of spite.

What is the best way of handling spiteful attacks? Popular thinking would suggest returning “tit for tat,” or retaliating in some fashion. However, is that the wise course? Perhaps the following illustration can help provide an answer: Suppose you’re in a supermarket one day, and happen to observe a small child begging her mother to purchase a bag of candy she holds in her little hands. However, the mother, for her own reasons, say no, and asks the child to return the candy to the shelf. Well, the child has a fit! She pouts, throws down the bag of candy, and begins to scream “I hate you!” She behaves spitefully, as children, due to their emotional immaturity are prone to do. Would you expect the mother to pout and have a tantrum in response? Of course not! You expect spiteful behavior of young children, not of mature adults. Let’s change the scenario a bit. The person attacking you spitefully is now an adult. His tools are directed energy weapons, through-the-wall surveillance, torture, and gang stalking. Should you respond out of spitefulness? No. The same principle applies: To respond spitefully will demonstrate pettiness and immaturity.

Being too big for spite is always the best response. Responding in a spiteful way brings the victim down to the level of his attacker, and can have disastrous consequences. In my case, being lured into an angry, spiteful response can result in incarceration or other personal harm.

Of course, maintaining emotional control can be a challenge when the spiteful attacks are part of a daily, 24 hour campaign. But it can, and is being done successfully. Much of my success comes from how I think. Let me illustrate it this way: Suppose you have two individuals that are quite similar, and you place a heavy weight on each of them. The first individual begins to complain unceasingly, allows the burden to overwhelm him, and is eventually weakened to the point that he is physically and mentally broken by the weight he is forced to carry. The second person sees the heavy load as a challenge, uses it to train and strengthen his muscles in much the way that a weightlifter does, and eventually becomes strong enough carry the load. Both had the same heavy weight. What made the difference between defeat and success? Mental attitude. Adversity is not all bad. When faced with the proper attitude, it can help us to strengthen weaknesses in our character and develop endurance. Those qualities add to our emotional maturity and equip us to face other challenges in life successfully, without resorting to spite.

It is the small spiteful mind that my attackers seek to lure, victimize, and destroy. The best defense? “Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.” - Romans 17:21. Rising above spite is the smartest defense! It will help us to avoid the regretful penalties of ill-advised spiteful retaliation . It also protects us from the harmful psychosomatic effects of harboring a spiteful attitude. It works!

The Price of Spite
Spiteful persons pay a heavy price for their actions. Bearing a grudge or hatred that breeds spite has well been termed “self-poison.” One cannot harbor hostility without reaping harmful psychosomatic effects. That is to say, what adversely affects the mind adversely affects the body and the bodily processes. The spiteful person hurts himself most. Those who torture their fellow man with directed energy weapons and gang-stalking do well to consider this. When spite is expressed as torture, its self destructive effects are intensified. “Our rich experience in Russia has shown that many (torturers) will become alcoholics or drug addicts, violent criminals or, at the very least, despotic and abusive fathers and mothers.” - Torture’s Long Shadow. This quote by Vladimir Bukovsky, a Russian author who spent nearly 12 years in Soviet prisons, labor camps and psychiatric hospitals for nonviolent human rights activities, reflects a truth that I’ve observed as well. Serial torture and harassment are self-destructive, unhealthy, and emotionally destabilizing occupations for the torturers. Many of them give evidence of serious alcohol abuse, drug dependency, and other behavioral problems no doubt aggravated by their profession. What they do ‘on-the-job’ spills over and poisons their health and personal lives. What a high price to pay for spite!

Some readers of my story have emailed and asked whether it is truthful to say that I (or anyone) has triumphed over victimization by directed energy weapons torture and gang-stalking even though the ordeal continues. What do you think?

Perhaps the following illustration will help you to see an enlightened view. Imagine you are told one day that you will be forced to play a basketball game against a team you’ve never met. In fact, you will be challenged by the same team every day. You cannot put any players on the court but yourself. However, the opposing team puts as many players in the game as it wants, cheats relentlessly, changes the rules to its advantage, and fouls you continually without penalty. They even stoop to harassing you at night in the hopes of making you too tired to play. Yet, in spite of these overwhelming and unfair odds, you find a way to win the game each day! Sometimes you win by a large margin. Some days the game is a struggle, and you win by only one point. Yet, you do win, each and every day against seemingly impossible odds.

Can you rightfully consider yourself a winner? Absolutely! You have become a champion against extraordinary odds! The fact that you will be forced to continue playing against this cruel team in no way diminishes your outstanding accomplishments!

This well illustrates the lives of solitary individuals targeted involuntarily by through-the-wall surveillance, torture and gang stalking. They are challenged on a daily basis by an unjust mob working in concert to attack, corrupt, and destroy. That mob will cheat, lie, and cruelly do whatever they can to win. They attack round-the-clock in an effort to make their prey too weak for the battle. Yet, on a daily basis, their victims confront the hurdles put before them, and overcome each one. They stay within the law despite intense provocation. They struggle to cope through tears and anguish. Yet, they continue to meet each test with admirable strength of character. Should their fine record be diminished or denied because the adversity continues? Never may that be so!

When we view the injustice we face as a daily challenge rather than one continuous battle the full scope of our accomplishments can be appreciated. On a daily basis, we prevail! Each day has its own struggles. Each day has its victories. The challenges we face continue only because our enemies have not prevailed in the daily battles against us! Even if the adversity is ongoing, without question it can truthfully be said that we have triumphed!

What is it like to be the victim of a government sponsored round-the-clock program of psychological battering and torture? I invite you to share a typical evening in my life of directed energy, through-the-wall surveillance and torture. Lets start in the early evening, when the program begins:

Evening: 11:00 PM till 3:00 AM
Like most of you, this is my time for sleeping. However, as a victim of wall-penetrating torture technology, sleep does not come easily. In the apartment below mine, government agents play loud grating music or create disturbing noises. This evening, it is rapid fire deep bass notes from a loudspeaker placed in the bedroom below mine. Each time I come close to falling asleep, the noise is fired up. The through-the-wall surveillance tools they use can monitor my heart rate and pulse. Therefore, they know exactly when my heart rate slows to the point that indicates I am falling asleep. At that moment, they use loud music to wake me up. This is repeated each time I begin to doze off, lasting for a couple of hours or so. Or they may choose to create a series of loud banging noises. Whatever does the job. The intended effect is to heighten my anxiety and anger. The physical side effect is my body’s production of stress hormones at a time when I should be fully relaxed. Well, I typically wear ear plugs to muffle the noise. They anticipate that. They use wall-penetrating acoustic weapons to send a heavy silent vibration through the walls or floor targeted at my head. Unlike audible noise, this is a silent sensation that is felt by my entire body. There is nothing I can do to protect myself from it. The vibrations resonate through my head, keep me awake, stressing my body, and affecting my equilibrium. Of course, none of my neighbors will be aware of this. The agents insure that any apartments adjoining mine, especially those in the path of the weapons, are empty. This insures that no witnesses accidentally hear or feel the effects of this technology.

To enhance the disruptive effect of their attack, a car alarm or horn may be synchronized to go off as they hit me with a wall-penetrating acoustic beam. These focused, infrasound beams cause limbs to jerk involuntarily as they pass through my body. There is more. The torturers may also use a microwave (millimeter wave) based wall-penetrating weapon as well. This creates a sensation that ranges from itching to intense localized pain. The two areas of my body most often targeted with this weapon are the face (eyes) and groin. The effects range from the sensation of being stabbed with needles to being burned with a hot iron. These weapons leave behind no physical scars or other evidence of trauma. They penetrate all commonly used home-building materials and are targeted with pinpoint accuracy.

I may also hear the sound of laughing or joking coming from one of the adjoining apartments. This rounds out the attack by adding an element of mockery to the harassment. It may appear that the apartments surrounding mine are occupied during the day. However, when I retire for the evening, the “occupants” leave and are replaced by a night shift of agents performing the torture and surveillance. Typically, I am rarely allowed to get more than three hours of continuous sleep. This pattern of torture is repeated every night, 365 days per year.

At 3:00 AM I am awakened again. This time, the nature of the torture changes . . .

3:00 AM until 8:00 AM
Normally as the evening progresses, the human body experiences longer patterns of deep sleep. However, this pattern is disrupted by the wall-penetrating weapons used against me. Typically, I am forced awake by either audible noise or silent wall-penetrating acoustic weapons at approximately 3:00 each morning. It typically may take one or two hours to fall back to sleep. During this period, my attackers may use noise or other irritants to stimulate my body’s stress response. When I finally fall asleep, perhaps about 4:00 AM, the acoustic / microwave beam weapons are targeted at my head at much higher levels ( I am not sure of the combination used). Because it is more difficult to awaken during this deep sleep period, the intense pressure caused by these wall-penetrating weapons may go undetected for hours. However, my brain knows it is under attack, and my body is producing unusually high levels of stress hormones to respond. It is only when I awaken unexpectedly that I become immediately aware of these weapons. I can hear the faint recycling of the weapons from the apartment below mine (they may also be targeting me from adjacent apartments and buildings) as they cycle and fire the rapid rounds of silent acoustic “bullets”. With my eyes closed, I can see flashes as each volley passes through my head. I can feel each round penetrate my head. There is no mistaking an attack by acoustic weapons for anything else. It is like experiencing all the effects of being hit in the head with a baseball bat minus the sound and physical impact. I suspect that the effects of these weapons may cause me to “pass out” during sleep. As a result, I may awake at 9:00 - 10:00 AM instead of my normal 6:00 - 7:00 AM waking time. When I finally do awake, the combined effects of sleep deprivation, acoustic weapons, and stress wreak its toll on my body. I am physically exhausted. The combination of sleep deprivation and acoustic weapons leave me in a mental fog and impairs my ability to concentrate. Instead of being refreshed, I am fatigued and irritable.

Sleep is essential for life. I am convinced that these cruel tests are designed to create a pattern of sleep deprivation and distress intended to mentally cripple or kill me. Daily sleep deprivation combined with artificial stimulation of stress hormones is a dangerous combination, almost certain to induce death in its victims if continued over a long period of time. It increases the risk of diseases including stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. It is a known cause of mental disorders, including depression, and schizophrenia.

There is a secondary effect that my attackers seek to exploit: The likelihood of stress induced violence. Sleep deprivation impairs our emotional control in a way similar to alcohol intoxication. As my attackers combine this effect with their daily pattern of harassment, it is clear that they want me to respond in a way that destroys my reputation and leads to incarceration or suicide or death.

I ask you the reader, if government sponsored groups apply these cruel methods to an innocent citizen, every day, for more than ten years, what is the intent? In truth, this is an extended pattern of attempted murder.

Now that I am awake, and ready to start the day, a new phase of harassment begins . . . To be continued . . .

References:
The Economist Magazine, “Come Fry With Me” discussing microwave based weaponry
Defense Update: An Isreali defense magazine discussing Directed Acoustic Weapons currently being manufactured.

The Victims’ Diary:
The Motives of the “Scowler” - An Update In Light of Current Events

What purpose did the “Scowler” serve? That is a question I harbored for the ten years of abuse I have endured at the hands of Federal agents since his appearance. When I first wrote chapters two and three of BadExperiment.com seven years ago, I assumed that this incident was connected to a criminal investigation. That was what I was led to believe by the comments of a fellow tenant. However, in the light of what has transpired since that time, I now know better.

I believe that the incident involving the “Scowler” was part of a period of pre-surveillance by the Federal agents / military personnel who have since victimized me by long-term testing with covert microwave (millimeter wave) and acoustic through-the-wall torture technology (also known as Directed Energy Weapons or DEWs). This was a form of pre-qualification work done to test my suitability for their long-term involuntary torture tests. Since I did not respond violently, nor make much “noise” about the incident, they evidently concluded that I could be controlled, and would be a “suitable” candidate for long-term covert involuntary testing.

Evidently, I qualified in a number of ways:

1. My peaceful nature would not make me an immediate physical threat to the testers. I typically seek a peaceful way to resolve differences with others. Evidently, that is viewed as an exploitable weakness by my abusers. Also, I am not the sort of person who quickly and loudly complains. These traits makes a victim easier to control and silence during long-term abuse.

2. I lived alone, away from my family (I had moved to the Pavilion Apartments in Newark, NJ less than three months before this incident occurred). This is an important qualification as it is much easier to isolate, discredit and control a victim if they are isolated from family and other support systems.

3. I am a Black male. It is very easy for the torturers, using their ties to law enforcement, to cast doubts about the character of their victims. Such slander taps into the common prejudices of American society. By doing so, they effectively isolate a victim from his neighbors, who come to view him with fear and suspicion. I’ve come to believe that the neighbor who told me that I was under a “criminal investigation” in the “Scowler” incident was serving the interests of the torturers. If they could convince me that I was under criminal investigation, my voicing such a complaint would further damage my reputation and credibility, and make what I am experiencing seem justified in the eyes of others. There is quite a bit of acting and role-playing done by the agents involved to convince the torture victim that he is the target of a criminal investigation. However, as the years wear on, the act becomes unconvincing. What law enforcement agency would spend over ten years and the resources of a number of agencies trying to level a minor drug charge against one individual? It is a cruel hoax designed to maintain control of the torture victim.

When I had first applied for residency in the Pavilion Apartments in Newark NJ eleven years ago (where it all began), I was shown and received a seventh floor apartment. However, on the day before I was to move in, I was told that seventh floor apartments were no longer available. I was assigned a sixth floor apartment. I really wanted the seventh floor apartment for the view. However, I could not cancel my plans to move, and accepted the sixth floor apartment. My later experiences now show why this change was made. It allowed Federal agents to use the apartment above, below, and adjacent to mine for surveillance and later, covert testing with through-the-wall weapons. As my experiences have repeatedly shown,the Federal agencies testing these weapons exploit their connection with law enforcement in working with the management of inner city apartment complexes. In effect, they are creating virtual laboratories for testing covert weapons technology on innocent tenants.

Hurry back for the more of the ongoing account of government testing of through-the-wall torture technology on Americans in the next episode of “Bad Experiment”

The Victims’ Diary: “The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger.” - Proverbs 19:11

I came home from work that day’s end full of apprehension and fear. What was the “Scowler’s” next move? As I entered the Pavilion’s lobby, all seemed unnaturally quiet. It was empty except for the usual security guard. No “Scowler”. . . no onlookers . . . no drama.

However, before the evening passed, I received my first clue regarding the identity of my antagonists. I imagined that the management of my residence was harassing me for some unknown reason. Perhaps they were converting to co-op’s, and wanted tenants to vacate their apartments. . . Maybe someone in management simply did not like me. . . Was a slanderous rumor being spread about me by a hateful neighbor? These were the only plausible excuses I could come up with.

“Hey man, how’s it going? Listen . . . stay clean, because they are out to get you in the worst way . . .” So began the brief but revealing conversation that focused my thoughts on the source of my persecution. I was the target of a criminal investigation! For the past few months more than a few among the Pavilion management and fellow tenants were aware of this.

Living in the starkly postmodern Pavilion Apartments, sheathed with floor-to-ceiling glass windows was like living in a literal glass house. However, I “lived in a glass house” in the metaphorical sense as well. People knew your business pretty well here. They knew when you left for work and when you came home; who your friends are; what you do on the weekends . . . If you indulged in any vices they certainly knew that too. Yet, within that small community I had rightfully earned a good name. I worked honestly, and lived quietly. I believe that it was my good name that prompted this acquaintance to warn me of law enforcement’s interest in me.

The idea that I was the target of a criminal investigation was actually a bit of a relief. I was relieved that my landlord had nothing to do with this. I loved my apartment and did not want to move. I had no worries about a criminal investigation. I had never engaged in any form of criminal activity. I was certain that their investigation would only validate that fact.

The evening proceeded quietly. The dark drama I experienced earlier was like a strong dose of caffeine that began to wear off. At around 11:30 that evening I went to bed hoping to capture some of the sleep stolen from me the night before. All was quiet . . . but not for long. At exactly 12:00 midnight I was rudely awakened by a sudden eruption of clamor from the apartment above! They’re back! The Scowler (or his henchmen) had returned!

This assault was a perfect replica of what I endured the night before. The noise, stomping, and loud profane voices bounced off my bedroom walls. I now faced a second night of stolen sleep and harassment. What should I do? If law enforcement agents are my antagonists, what would happen if I called the police to complain? I did not want a confrontation, just a good night’s sleep.

Forced to lay awake for the second night in a row by this assault, I began to analyze my situation. This scheme was not the improvised efforts of a ragtag group of local police officers. I sensed that it was a well-crafted, thoroughly rehearsed technique that reflected expertise in psychology and surveillance. The participants knew their roles well and stuck to a script.

Rather than beat me physically, they were seeking to beat me by attacking my emotions and injuring my pride. I had been rudely deprived of sleep for over 36 hours. Also, I was subject to a series of actions designed to humiliate me and provoke an angered response. They had also provided a target for my anger . . . the “Scowler.”

Sleep deprivation and psychological conditioning are techniques usually associated with the military, not law enforcement. I did not imagine that this was something taught in Newark Police Academy to local officers . . . However, it would probably be well known to Federal law enforcement agents . . . such as those in the FBI or DEA, two Federal agencies with branch offices in Newark. In fact, the New York Times has referred to the FBI as “quasi-military” in culture.

But why is this happening to me? Based upon what I was told, I was the target of a secretly conducted criminal investigation for at least six months (it seems that it was only secret to me). I don’t know why I was their target, but I do now what they found. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In a rather odd way this situation was a source of great pride for me. I routinely lived by a standard of conduct higher than that required by law. I was not perfect, but I never engaged in unlawful activity. I took great pride in knowing that any scrutiny on their part would only confirm that. Perhaps this new “stage” of the investigation was born out of their frustration in finding any evidence of wrongdoing.

If they could push me to commit an act of public rage, preferably directed toward a law enforcement officer (the “Scowler”), it would create the perception that I was indeed the person they claimed me to be. It would appear to onlookers that my anger was entirely unprovoked. I would look like a dangerous nut! Were they putting themselves and fellow officers in harm’s way with such a scheme? No, not really. From their surveillance, they knew that I had no weapons of any kind. Nor was I a trained combatant. I was simply one unarmed, innocent man. Also, as I later discovered, there are a number of plainclothes and uniformed officers never more than seconds away who would respond to any foolish act on my part with overwhelming force.

I needed a strategy to successfully cope with this scheme. Therefore, I made two key decisions that evening that have proven to be extremely wise over the past six years of harassment.

First, I decided never to view my antagonists as enemies. In fact, I determined never to allow myself to develop any anger towards them. Why not? Because, a primary objective of this harassment was to condition me to adopt an adversarial view of law enforcement officers. I refused to do so. I have always respected law enforcement officers and would continue to do so.

If I allowed anger and bitterness to overcome me, it would only be a matter of time before I lost control. Indeed, exploiting this basic human frailty is a central component of their psychological harassment. They sought to distress me until I responded in a fit of rage. Any hostile act on my part would instantly be met with incarceration or overwhelming force. They had the law on their side. They had to right to “retaliate” with deadly force–I did not. Therefore, I never allowed myself to feel any anger toward them. It would only be self-destructive in the long-run.

My second decision was this: No matter how far my antagonists stepped outside the law, I would not follow. As you will see, this investigation is conducted in a way to make it almost impossible for me to gain relief under “the rule of law.” I would rather undergo persecution than do anything illegal to end the suffering or retaliate. I had to show respect for the law, whether they chose to, or not.

Anyhow, let’s get back to the “Scowler,” who was hard at work harassing me in the upstairs apartment. As morning approached, I knew that I had to face him again. But I had a plan. If the events of the past morning held true, the “Scowler” wanted to make a spectacle of me . . . again. Fine, I will be a spectacle! But not quite the way the “Scowler” imagined . . . At 6:30 AM I began to prepare for another day’s work, not having slept for two nights in a row.

I decided to dress for my audience with the “Scowler” and his onlookers. I choose my best suit, a well-tailored lightweight charcoal wool pinstripe that I usually reserve for important meetings or interviews. Along with that I selected a perfectly starched white Pima cotton shirt and a silver foulard silk tie. I also took a bit of extra time polishing my best cap-toe oxfords. I completed the outfit with a white handkerchief carefully folded in my jacket’s breast pocket.

As I left my apartment and approached the elevator that would whisk me to the drama waiting in the lobby, I began to smile to myself. The “Scowler” wanted an out-of-control Black thug. Instead, what he would get is a smiling, well-spoken, well-mannered, tastefully attired Black professional. And what’s more, I was going to be shaking hands, kissing babies and working the crowd like I just won an election!

The elevator stopped at the lobby and the doors slowly opened. And, as expected, there was the “Scowler!” I strode from the elevator with a big smile, ready to work the crowd. But, there was no crowd . . . the “Scowler” was the only person in the lobby. He quickly averted his gaze as I strolled past him. I was a bit disappointed. I really expected an audience like yesterday . . . not just the “Scowler.” I said nothing to him and proceeded on my way to work.

I was feeling good. As the day progressed, I thought about what could have happened had I lost my temper that morning. Even though the “Scowler” appeared to be alone in the lobby, I’m certain he was not. His fellow officers/agents were no doubt hiding in the background ready to pounce if I “acted up.” Also, surveillance cameras were carefully recording every nuance and gesture. I had won the battle for that day. By keeping a cool head and thinking things through, I had avoided danger.

I never saw the “Scowler” again. Yet my trials were just beginning . . . What I have experienced over the past six years revealed a side of law enforcement you never see portrayed in the movies . . . and for good reason, as you will soon discover.

What I was led to believe regarding a “criminal investigation” proves to be a deception! Get the truth in the next installment, Clearing Up The Deception

I am The Victim, and this is the first installment of my diary . . .

It was about four months after moving into the Pavilion Apartments on Broad Street (Newark, New Jersey, USA) that I first saw him. One late summer day, after arriving home from work, I noticed him by the convenience store on the first floor. He was a white Hispanic, perhaps in his late 30’s, dressed in nondescript street clothing. His one dominant physical trait was an intense, piercing scowl. I could feel the heat of his stare as I waited for the elevator. “Why are you angry at me?” I wondered to myself. I had never seen him before. Yet, his piercing scowl insisted that he knew me. However, he said nothing. After boarding the elevator, I quickly forgot about him.

In the days immediately following, I began to see the “Scowler” more frequently as I entered and left my residence. He would always be in the lobby or just outside the main entrance. His furrowed brow and ill-tempered glare were always focused on me. I did not recognize him as a tenant, nor did he appear to associate with any tenants or workers. Yet he always had that scowl . . . never saying a word . . . this was getting weird.

One day, I came down to the lobby to use the pay phone. I was having problems with the phone in my apartment, and called for repairs. My call, it seemed, had attracted the ill-tempered attention of the “Scowler.” He stood about ten feet away, trying to follow my conversation. As always, he said nothing as he stared. I finished my call and left wondering who this man is, and why he seemed so interested in me. Little did I know that a chain of events that shortly followed would draw me into a confrontation with the “Scowler.”

After retiring one night soon afterward, I was suddenly awakened by an incredible level of noise coming from the apartment above mine. The racket was intense. There were shouts, cursing, banging on the floor, stomping . . . a real production. It seemed that each time I started to doze off, the cacophony would became even louder. This went on from about 12 midnight to four o’clock in the morning. Up until this evening, I had never heard a sound from the apartment above mine. In fact, I thought it was vacant. The noise seemed purposeful, intended to harass. It was focused directly above my bed and appeared to be the work of at least two or three individuals.

I wondered if I was the target of harassment. And, if so, why? I was a good tenant, quiet . . . my rent was paid . . . I had made no enemies I knew of . . . This was bizarre. However, I decided not to react too quickly. Perhaps I was making more of this than I needed to. I did not call the police or complain to the building management. Maybe it was an isolated incident that would not repeat itself in the future.

I got up at 6 in the morning, sleepless and tired, to prepare for work. All was now quiet. I showered and dressed. After leaving my apartment, I took the elevator to the lobby. The elevator was empty and immediately available. That is unusual for this time of the morning when the elevator is usually packed with people rushing to work. Perhaps what happened next explains why.

Upon leaving the elevator, the first face I saw was that of the “Scowler.” He stood directly in my line of vision and blocked the path I take to exit the building. The “Scowler” wanted my attention. His menacing gaze was, as always, focused on me. Standing behind him were about seven of the maintenance workers in the building, including the Superintendent. It seemed that they had formed an audience for just this encounter. The “Scowler’s” mouth had a crooked, self-satisfied grin that was both mocking and challenging. Still, he said nothing . . . However, it was clear from his stance and countenance that I was being lured into a confrontation.

The noisy harassment of the past evening started to flood my thoughts. Was the Scowler responsible for the harassment I had just experienced? It seemed logical to connect his sudden appearance with that event. What was the intent behind all of this? Who is this “Scowler?”

What would you do if you were in my shoes? You are tired, robbed of a good night’s sleep, and suddenly face someone whose hostile attitude and menacing stance suggests that he is responsible for it all. How do you respond in that instant? Would you accuse him? Have harsh words? Lose your temper? Could it escalate to violence? Also, what would be the consequences if you acted rashly, emotionally, without thinking first?

In the fraction of time it took me to take my first step out of that elevator, I said a quick prayer. That is something I always do when under pressure. That prayer instantly brought a small proverb to mind; “return evil for evil to no one.” (Romans 12:17) By the time I took my third step towards the “Scowler,” I was smiling. I knew how I should should respond. I greeted everyone with a warm “good morning,” navigated my way through the maze of individuals and exited the building. No anger, no accusations, no lost temper.

As I walked, all eyes seemed to follow me to the door, especially those of the “Scowler.” I felt a strong sense of relief, knowing that I had responded wisely. I also had the feeling that I had foiled a nasty scheme. But who was my antagonist? Who is the “Scowler?” Was he involved in the harassment I experienced the night before in some way? If so, than I had just survived a sophisticated psychological attack. If I had acted rashly, on impulse, it would have instantly destroyed a good reputation I enjoyed among my neighbors. I both marveled at the sophistication of this attack, and wondered about its intent. I also wondered if it really was an attack or merely a string of coincidences.

It proved to be no coincidence. You see, the “Scowler” would quickly make his presence felt again. And, I would receive my first clue to his identity. Read about it in the next installment of my account of involuntary testing with covert through-the-wall torture technology.

“The roots of contemporary psychology are in war and defense efforts,” - Steven Breckler, head of the American Psychological Association Science Directorate.” - Mother Jones magazine, 3/08.

That quote provides an insight into the motivating forces behind emerging schemes that attack the mind and emotions of civilians such as gang-stalking and torture with directed energy weapons. Modern psychology as a science “owes a great deal to the armed services and their desire to fight wars of the mind as well as the body.” In fact, the military has historically been the largest funding source for the social sciences. Since the 1950’s, “countless psychologists have done their graduate work on military-funded projects.”

As a victim of directed energy weapons (DEWs) and gang-stalking, I realized from the onset that my fight is not against individuals but, rather, a psychological campaign. Occasionally, I have observed well dressed, academic observers at a distance keenly observing my reactions or consulting with my harassers. No doubt, they are the social scientists, criminal psychologists, or psychologists who are developing these cruel psychological attacks. As military weapons and methods continue to spill over into civilian life, psychological abuse and remote torture may well become commonplace.

IF YOU take a close look at the butterfly in this photo, you will see that its wings have sustained quite a bit of damage. Yet, that butterfly will continue feeding and flying in spite of damage suffered from predator attacks. In fact, butterflies have been observed going about their daily activity with up to 70 percent of their wing surfaces missing. It’s incredible that something that appears to be so delicate can live a full life in spite of suffering so much adversity. Similarly, many people can display a resolute spirit. Despite suffering from great personal hardships, they do not give up. Like the butterfly, they may appear weak or insignificant to the human eye. But they possess an inner strength that enables them to move forward.

This can be true of victims of psychological torture that includes gang-stalking and covert through-the-wall torture weapons. Their strength can be demonstrated by refusing to abandon high principles when facing the cruelty and spitefulness of their persecutors. Is such restraint an act of weakness or courage? A recent article in Psychology Today (April 2008, Second Nature) corrects a common misperception regarding courage. “It (courage) is motivated not by fearlessness, but by a strong sense of duty. People who behave bravely often say they were afraid at the time, says Cynthia Pury, a psychologist at Clemson University. But their principles forced them to take action.” Exercising restraint under a continuous barrage of aggravated provocation is a principled action that requires great courage.

The victims of long-term gang-stalking and related forms of abuse demonstrate a courageous adherence to Christian principles when they refuse to adopt the spiteful actions of their persecutors. They remain loyal to Bible principles such as “Return evil for evil to no one” - Romans 12:17. Such courage is an essential component of their success in overcoming the adversity thrust upon them.

I often use the word “victim” in my writing to describe my role as a target of long term secret police tactics (including gang-stalking) and torture with through-the-wall weapons. However, my use of that word may be a bit misleading. The truth is, I lead a meaningful, productive and happy life in spite over ten years of covert psychological and physical torture. My health is not compromised by the psychosomatic effects of bitterness and stress. Perhaps most importantly, I have not been seduced by my antagonists’ efforts to dominate and control my thinking and actions. I have resolutely rejected the seductive call of violence, spitefulness, and petty hatred. I stand as a powerful example before the criminal psychologists, weapons developers, and sociologists behind my persecution. They may understand the criminal mind, but cannot fathom the noblest of qualities such as integrity, courage, and humility. While my abusers can rightfully be accused of a myriad of injustices stemming from spite, hubris and cruelty, they cannot point to a single incident of retaliation. I have not even uttered a word of profanity in their presence. Does that sound like a helpless victim to you?

The qualities and principles I live by have served me admirably. You will often see references to Bible principles and characters in my writing. It is the best guidebook for coping with any adversity. I have not handled each situation perfectly, nor should I be expected to. However, taken on the whole, I have become the victor, not the victim. My adversaries have willingly given themselves over to the practice of cruel injustice without a struggle. I have resisted the unremitting call of barbarism and malice. In no way have I adopted the thinking and behavior of my enemies. Each days’ struggle in this regard has been met and overcome. That is true victory! In the light of this truth, who would you say is the real victim?

This past week I experienced two incidents which reminded me of the spirit and motives behind the gang-stalking and infrasonic / microwave weapons harassment I have undergone for the past few years. The first took place in my local library (Phoenix Library, Main Branch, Phoenix, Arizona). I observed a fellow in the business section poring over business journals and newspapers related to the stock market. Obviously he was a businessman of some sort, the intense look as he read revealing deep personal concern and interest. A much older, poorly dressed man approached him, evidently a poverty stricken Native American, quietly asking for a small handout. His approach was timid and apologetic, motivated by necessity. The businessman, quickly becoming irritated, began to loudly castigate the old man, demanding that he find a job rather than look for handouts. It was a humiliating display. And, judging by the businessman’s tone of voice, it was meant to be. The older Native American quietly walked away, uttering no response.

Feeling superior to others is a dangerous thing. When we are convinced that others are less worthy than ourselves, it can create a cruel and domineering spirit as that brief episode demonstrated. A simple, quiet reply by the businessman would have been a sufficient rejection, and, would have preserved the old man’s dignity as well. However, the businessman saw no need to treat someone he viewed condescendingly with even a modicum of respect.

It was with that observation fresh in my mind that a second incident occurred the following day. This time, I was personally involved. I was driving in the South Mountain Park / Preserve (Phoenix, Arizona) this past weekend to photograph the spring wildflowers that are in bloom. The part of the preserve best known for spring wildflower displays, is only open on the weekends from sunrise to sunset. At other times, a locked gate prevents entry. I drove into this area (the gate was open) about an hour before sunset this past Sunday. A Park Rangers’ vehicle was partially blocking one lane just past the entrance, having arrived just before I did. The Park Ranger had left the vehicle, and was walking in a forested area near the road. I stopped and asked him if the area was still open. I was not sure what to make of his vehicle partially blocking the road. The ranger said that they were closing the road. It was 4:38 in the afternoon, more than an hour before sunset. To my thinking, this was an odd decision. So I asked why they were closing it so early when the sign said “open sunrise to sunset.?”

Well, in less than a minute, a second Park Ranger appeared, approached my car and joined the conversation. I simply wanted to know why, just as I entered the area, that the decision was made to close it, and not at sunset as the posted sign indicates. As the conversation progressed, my manner of speaking began having a pronounced effect on these two Rangers. Let me explain why. I am the sort of person who grooms and dresses himself with dignity at all times. I have taught public speaking for over ten years, and spent many years in corporate environments. I know how to communicate respectfully yet emphatically without profanity or disrespect. Simply because of the way I spoke and conducted myself, the rangers began to think that perhaps I was a high-powered official with the Parks Department or City government who had caught them closing the gate too early. They became overly apologetic and extremely helpful as a result. I could see that they were in fear for their jobs, and were trying to find a way to know what office I held or represented. In that moment, I held a measure of power over those Park Rangers. It was the same power that businessman held as he was approached for a handout by the old man. How should I use that power? How did I use it?

I did not want to leave those Park Rangers with the wrong impression. It would be wrong to abuse the power I held at that moment. I thanked the Rangers for their work and assured them that I respected their authority. I also assured them that I was asking out of disappoint because of not being able to photograph the wildflowers (near sunset is one of the best times of the day for landscape photography) and would honor their decision. What fleeting power I held in that moment dissipated. I corrected any false impressions they held and left on good terms with both men.

However, I must admit to the brief temptation to use the power I held over those men in that moment as a tool of humiliation. After all, I have been repeatedly abused by those who hold an authority like these men. Shouldn’t I, in some way, take it out on these men, if only in speech? Never may that happen! I firmly reject the lure of power abused, sticking to the superior principles I have been taught since youth. Remember the “Golden Rule?” “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” I strive to treat others the way I want others to treat me. Not the way I am treated. That “Golden Rule” did not govern the actions of the abusive businessman I had observed earlier. Nor does it govern the lives of persons employed in gang-stalking and psychological and physical torture. Offer ordinary people a chance to employ a cruel abusive power over others, and many will accept. It is an addictive thrill to abuse others, an alluring temptation to the imperfect mind and heart. Unless we make a concerted effort to adopt and stick to higher principles at all times (such as the “Golden Rule”), we will easily be lured by the abuse of power!